The College Years Part I
by ashes of roses1
Summary: Da kids go 2 college. Hey its never gonna happen on da show, mite as well do it in fanfiction! Part I revolves around Theresa, Noah, Chad, Whitney, John, Kay, Miguel, Charity, Reese, Jessica, Timmy, Paloma, Fox and Simone. last two chapters posted!
1. Depleting Chances For Love

The College Years: Part 1

{A/N: Allright, some things in this fic are different from the basic Passions storylines (obviously). for 1, kay is not pregnant w/ Miguel's baby (they never made love, there was no charity's essence), David & John r only in Harmony because John goes 2 Harmony University & because David worx 4 the Cranes. (no plots w/ ivy 2 break up GRAM). the main characters in this fic r john, chad, miguel, reese, fox, noah, simone, jessica, charity, theresa, whitney and kay. there r going 2 b numerous (unrelated) stories between these characters & this is the 1st story. enjoy - i know u will. ;) }

Chapter 1:

  
Twenty-year old John Hastings was in his dorm room at Harmony University studying for a Statistics test. When he finished, he closed his book and grabbed his keys. He hated being alone in the dormitory. His roommate, Chad Harris, who was the same age, was hardly ever in the dorms, only when it came to sleeping. John was bored so he decided to head to Miguel's and Reese's dormitory, see what they were up to. 

Nineteen year old, Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald shared the dorm room with Reese Durkee, an old friend of his from high school. 

John knocked on their door. 

"Come in," came Reese's voice.

John walked in to see Miguel and Reese sitting down, along with their girlfriends, Charity and Jessica.

"Hey, you guys," John said, closing the door behind him. "What's up?"

"Hi, John," came their reply's. 

"Where are all the other lovely ladies?" he asked, sitting down in one of the chairs. 

"Well, Simone, Whitney and Theresa have class right now," Jessica replied, giving John a smile. "And Kay, well I ..." Jessica's voice trailed off, leaving John curious about what was up with Kay. 

"Who cares where she is," Miguel blurted out suddenly. "As long as she is away from me and Charity." His tone was harsh in regard to "his best friend."

"Miguel don't say that," Charity spoke up. "Kay is manipulative but she IS our friend."

"Ex-friend." Miguel answered stubbornly. 

No one said anything. John didn't know Kay that well - they had just met a few weeks ago, but he was aware of her unsuccessful antics when it came to to getting Miguel to love her. Nearly everyone was. But nobody seemed to feel sorry for her, or sympathize with her. 

Just then, Miguel and Charity began giggling and whispering to each other. 

"What's up you two?" Reese asked suspiciously.

"We have some news to share," Charity said, beaming. Her face was illuminated with happiness, as was Miguel's. 

"Well?" Jessica said, impatiently. She loved surprises and this news seemed to be a happy one. 

"We're getting married!" Charity exclaimed loudly, showing everyone her engagement ring. 

"Oh my God!" Jessica squealed happily for her cousin and friend. 

One by one, Jessica, Reese and John went to hug and praise the engaged couple. 

"Congratulations!" John told them. "I can tell how in love the two of you are. I wish you all the best!"

"Thanks, John," they responded giddily. 

John turned away from them, a pang of jealousy clouding up his emotions. I so wish I could get the kind of love they share, he thought to himself. Their love is magical, beautiful, the best of its kind. I want that, I yearn for it. 

Meanwhile, as they were all celebrating Miguel's and Charity's joyful announcement, 19 year old Kay Bennett was in her dorm room, sitting down on her bed, thinking. She should have been studying for an upcoming exam but she had more important things to worry about. Like Miguel. How was she ever going to snag him away NOW? He had been going out with Charity for four years! Nothing she did seemed to work - he only wanted Charity. 

Thank God that Theresa and Whitney have class when I don't, Kay thought to herself bitterly. I mean they are my friends but I don't think Theresa would like it if she knew that I was trying to steal Miguel away from Charity. But it's not fair! She's going out with my brother - it's only fitting that I go out with hers! Sighing to herself, Kay got up and was just about to open to door and leave her room to get some fresh air, when her phone rang. 

"Hello," she said into the receiver.

"Kay!" said the person on the other line. "It's Jess, WHAT are you up to?"

"Nothing," Kay answered defensively. She could tell from her younger sister's voice that she didn't trust Kay. 

She probably thinks I'm trying to break up Miguel and Charity, Kay thought to herself. Well.... she is right. But I hate the fact that they are always suspicious of me. 

"Well, then, can you come over to Miguel's dorm? Almost all of us are there. Charity and Miguel have some news to share. So are you coming?"

Kay swallowed the lump in her throat. Charity and Miguel have some news? she thought to herself. She was no fool. Intuition told her that this news was something she was not going to like. She could tell. But oh well. What's another heartache atop the millions of it she'd already suffered at the hands of Miguel and Charity's relationship? Right?

"Umm ya," Kay said. "I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Alright," Jessica said, hanging up. 

"Is she coming?" Charity asked her hopefully.

"Yes," Jessica told her cousin. 

"I still don't see why she has to be here," Miguel grumbled. "This is supposed to be a HAPPY moment between US and FRIENDS. **We'll she's not going to celebrate with us and she obviously is not a friend anymore, to any of us!"**

"But Miguel, she's still my cousin," Charity responded. "And she may have pulled quite a few dastardly schemes but our love still managed to survive. Plus, once we're married, she can't bother us."

"Fine, Char," Miguel groaned. "I don't like it, but I'll do it for you."

"Thank you," Charity replied, giving him a sweet kiss. 

A few minutes later, a loud knock was heard. John went to open the door. 

There stood the brown haired, brown eyed beauty named Kay. She was dressed in all black, and she had no makeup on. She had bags under her eyes. John always thought she was the most beautiful out of all of the girls he knew here in HU but she also seemed the most troubled. That brought an air of mystery to her that made him inquire about her. From what he had heard from Jessica, Miguel and the others, she was quite determined to get Miguel for herself. He kind of pitied her as she stood there in front of the door. The only thing she seemed to focus on was chasing after Miguel. She was after lust, there was not an ounce of love in her body. She had not gotten love from anybody but her father. Her mother despised her for her obsession over Miguel. Jessica wished Kay wasn't her sister. But her father had managed to love her, despite everything she had done. Only his love was real. 

"Hi, Kay," John said, letting her inside. 

"Hi," Kay said absent-mindedly. "I'm sorry, what was your name again?"

"How could you forget MY name?!" he responded jokingly. "It's John," he added. 

"Right," she said absent-mindedly. "Silly of me to forget." She gave a small smile that barely reached her eyes. 

Even her smiles are sad! John thought to herself a bit dejectedly. He felt bad for her as he watched her uncomfortably greet the others. 

Miguel's, Jessica's and Reese's faces seemed to be made of stone. They didn't even get up to hug Kay hello the way Charity had done. Kay's face paled especially when Miguel barely acknowledged her, but she didn't say anything. 

"What's going on?" Kay asked all of them as she took off her jacket. 

"Well, Kay - " Charity began.

"Let me," Miguel interrupted, narrowing his eyes at Kay. 

"You see, Kay - " he started.

Kay laughed nervously. "Miguel," she said. "You never used to call me 'Kay.' It was always 'Kat.'"

Miguel barely listened to what she said. He seemed even angrier than before at her little interruption. "Well anyways, KAY," he continued, emphasizing on her name, "Charity and I wanted to have you here because we have some news for you. We are going to get married."

Kay stared at the floor, not believing what she heard. Did Miguel say that him and Charity are going to get married? she thought to herself. Her world came crashing down. This isn't supposed to be! her mind screamed out. Oh no! It was as if her heart was dying. She could barely breathe and think about the consequences of what was happening at the same time. She felt like she was going to choke. She had to get out of here. 

"I hope you understand," Charity said sympathetically, trying to be nice in place of the cold Miguel. 

Kay managed to nod, as she stood up, grabbing her jacket. 

"Will you excuse me," Kay told everyone. "I have to go. I...I have a ... a ... a meeting...with a ... professor," Kay blurted out, trying to come up with an excuse to leave the room. 

No one objected as she left. 

Once she was outside, Kay couldn't hold back her emotions any longer. She had never once cried over Miguel. Or anything for that matter. She was a strong, brave woman. And she didn't cry now. But her face spoke volumes when it came to how she felt. She knew that she couldn't go back to her dorm. Whitney and Theresa might be there and would ask her why she was so upset. She couldn't tell her older brother Noah because he might tell Fox (his roommate who also is Simone's boyfriend) or his girlfriend Theresa. She didn't want anyone else to know about this. She had nowhere to go. 

She walked over to the corner of the dormitory building and sat down on the cold hard floor, looking straight ahead in front of her, her face and body paralyzed in despair. She couldn't get the words Miguel had said to her out of her mind: "We are going to get married." 

{A/N again: what do u all think so far? i liked it. i hope u did 2. This is actually NOT a Kaguel fic (4 once). & Charity is actually a decent character. But Miguel isn't. U probly already knew that. PLEASE r/r. i really want comments: what u like/didn't like, etc. peace out.} 


	2. A New Friend

Chapter 2:

"Kay?" 

She heard someone call her name, but couldn't exactly tell who it was. Kay knew it was a male's voice and that it definitely WASN'T Miguel. So who could it be?

"Yeah?" she mumbled, almost inaudibly. 

Whoever had called to her seemed to have heard her when she replied because she could hear footsteps nearing where she was sitting on the ground. 

"You, umm," John turned the corner of the building, and saw Kay sitting down, looking very hurt and unconsolable. He was just going to tell her that she had forgotten her jacket back in Miguel's dorm, but the look of pain on her face had grabbed his attention enough to forget everything and stop talking. 

"Oh, my jacket," Kay said, standing up to face him. She took it from his outstretched hands. "Thanks, John."

"Sure," he murmured. 

He still could not stop staring at her features. So sad. He barely knew her, but wished that he could wipe that look off of her face. It didn't look good on her, and he didn't want to see her that way. 

"I'm sorry about um, what happened back there. That must have been hard. Umm, would you like to go out for some coffee? I know it's late, but -"

"Yes," Kay replied hastily. She needed to be away from the nightmare she had just endured, even if it was only for a little while. And the fact that she had company wouldn't hurt either. 

"Great," John said. Out of all of the 'group' that he had met awhile back, Kay was the one he was least closest too. But there was something intruiguing about her - like she possessed a mystery he wanted to unsolve. He liked that trait in a woman. 

They began to walk to a coffee shop that was close to their dorms. 

"I've never been here before," Kay said once they sat down with hot drinks in their hands. "It's a nice place."

He nodded. "You're a freshman, right?" he asked. 

"Yeah," Kay nodded back. "It's my first year. What about you?"

"I'm a sophomore," he replied. He paused. He didn't know what else to say. The walk to the coffee shop had been full of small talk, and now he had run of stuff to conversate about, especially since he didn't want to bring up the mention of Charity and Miguel AT ALL. He could tell that they were the last thing she wanted to hear or talk about. 

"What's your major?" Kay asked casually after a few moments of silence. She took a sip of her coffee.

"I'm a communications major for now," John answered, glad that she had decided to initiate a conversation between the two of them, "have you declared a major?"

"No," Kay shook her head. "I'm undecided, even though I am leaning towards English. Like creative writing. I love to write." 

"Oh really?" John asked, interested. "What do you like to write about?" 

"Anything. Everything," She gave a soft laugh. "Politics, racism, love, hate, nature, you name it." 

"Maybe you'll let me read them sometime?" John pressed, hoping she'd answer with a yes. 

"I don't know," Kay observed slowly. "I've never shown anyone my work." He could tell there was more to it than just showing others her writings. Those works of literature were her personal diaries. The key necessary to unlocking the secret of who Kay Bennett really was. And she had not let anyone see it. Not even Miguel it seemed. 

"Maybe you should." John responded. 

"Definitely," Kay agreed, nodding her head. "But just not yet."

______________________________________________________________________________

A few days later, Miguel and Charity were visiting their families and telling them that they were engaged. Grace, Charity's aunt, was so happy for her neice. She called Kay, Jessica and Noah, asking them if they could come home this weekend, even though they lived only seven miles away. 

Jessica and Noah had agreed, but Kay, who was reluctant to see anyone celebrate happily at the same time when she would be miserable, had boldly refused. 

"Kay!" her mother had scolded over the phone. 

"You know how I feel, mother. I won't come. That's final."

"Kay, this is really immature of you!" Grace had hissed before Kay heard the clicking of the telephone. Her mother had hung up on her. 

"Of course it is," Kay said bitterly to the receiver in her hand, "It's immature because nobody pays attention to the fact that I may be hurting from all of this!" She slammed the phone down. 

______________________________________________________________________________

Miguel and Charity had returned from the shopping they had been doing. They went to the Bennett's. Charity opened the door to see her family, as well as Miguel's family, smiling and talking to each other. 

"What's going on?" she asked her aunt. 

"I invited the Lopez-Fitzgerald's over to celebrate your engagement, honey," Grace responded, giving her neice a hug.

"Oh that's sweet, thank you," she replied. She took Miguel's hand and walked over to where some of her future in laws were standing. 

After a few minutes of chatting with her soon to be family, Charity felt Miguel take her to a corner of the living room where they could talk alone.

"I see Kay's not here," Miguel remarked, not a bit surprised. 

"It's hard for her, you know," Charity insisted lightly. "She loves you."

Miguel sighed but didn't say anything. I'm sure it is hard, he admitted to himself, but she has to understand and just deal with it. 

______________________________________________________________________________

"I'm sorry, everyone," Miguel announced a little bit later. "But Charity and I have to be going. We have a date."

"Ok, you two lovebirds," Pilar called, smiling. "Have fun."

"Thanks, mama," Miguel kissed her on the cheek before Charity and him were out the door. 

"So where are we going?" Charity asked him once they were seated in his car. She had no idea that they "had a date" for tonight. 

"Well I figured I'd take you to the carnival," Miguel remarked. "Remember that was where we first met."

"I will never forget that day," Charity replied, her face just inches away from Miguel's. 

"Neither will I!" Miguel said, before his lips were on Charity's. 

______________________________________________________________________________

Two hours later, after Miguel had won Charity a few teddy bears, they decided to take a break and get something to eat. They ran into Fox and Simone while they were in line waiting to be served. 

"Hey!" the tall, handsome Fox called out. "What's up?" He gave Miguel a high five and smiled at Charity. 

"What's up guys_?" _Miguel asked back, nodding towards Simone. 

"Hey, Simone," Charity said, getting one of her friends aside to talk. "You're going out with Fox?" She stared at her incredulously. 

Simone nodded happily. 

"Since when?" Charity couldn't help ask. Simone was one of her good friends, but she didn't know anything about this. 

"Since about three weeks ago," Simone told her. A new thought entered her mine. "I can't believe I didn't think of this earlier. Girl, here we are talking about my love life when we should be talking about yours! I heard about you and Miguel. Show me your ring!" she insisted. 

Simone oohed and aahed as Charity showed her her engagement ring. "I'm happy for you," she told her, giving the blonde girl a hug. 

"Thanks," Charity replied. 

"So you and Charity gonna get married eh?" Fox asked Miguel from a few feet away. 

"I can't wait," Miguel informed him. 

They turned to look at their girlfriends, who were lost in deep conversation. 

"Well we better leave you two lovebirds alone," Fox said a few moments later. "I'll be seeing you later, all right, dude?" 

"Yeah," Miguel nodded. 

"You ready to go, Simone?" Fox called out to his girlfriend. 

Simone said a quick goodbye to Charity before she went over to her boyfriend, taking his hand in hers. 

"See you guys," she called out. 

Miguel and Charity watched them walk off, before they went back to their food. 

"Who woulda thought _they_ would go out, don'tcha think?" Miguel asked. 

"Yeah," Charity nodded. "But they look cute together." She stared at their retreating forms.

"Not as cute as you and me," Miguel remarked, pulling her into a soft kiss. 

{a/n: more to come. this is gonna be about 9 chapters long. just to let u guys know, if u dont like the couples ive put together, dont read this. and dont flame me with hoping of making me change things around. it wont work. remember this is MY fic. if u dont like it, go and write ur own fic in any way u want.}


	3. What She's Like

Chapter 3:

The next day, Monday morning, John was getting out of his 8 am Journalism class when he ran into Jessica by the Bookstore. 

"Hey," John said.

"Hi, John," Jessica replied. "What's up?"

"Not much," John answered. "I heard that Miguel and Charity had dinner at your house," he told her. "How was that?"

"Good, good," Jessica beamed. "She told me today that she wants me to be the maid of honor."

__

"Oh, that's great," John responded absently. His mind was somewhere else. "How is Kay taking everything?"

Jessica scoffed. "The way Kay would, that's for sure," she frowned. "Kay claims to love Miguel. She can't be happy for him and Charity because she thinks she can make him happier. Sometimes I don't like to call her my sister. She is just so focused on Miguel and getting him to be hers that she doesn't care about anything else."

"You know I don't know her that well, but after Miguel and Charity announced to her that they were going to get married, we went to coffee together. And she didn't seem so bad. She definitely didn't seem the way you stated her to be."

"Well, I don't want to be rude, John, but you don't know Kay. All she cares about is Miguel." Jessica features contorted into a look of displeasement at the mention of her older sister. 

"You know I never had any brothers or sisters," John told her. "So maybe I don't know what it's like. But the way you think of your sister seems so unpleasant to me. I would never think that badly of my sister, orat least I hope I wouldn't." He paused as he analyzed Jessica's face.

She stared back at him, speechless. She didn't know what to say, because she knew deep down that he was right. 

"I'll see you later," John mumbled when he realized that Jessica had nothing to say to what he had just told her. Everyone tells me what they think of Kay, John thought to himself, but now it's my turn to find out what she is really like.

Jessica nodded as he walked off, her thoughts trailing to those about her sister. He's right, she admitted to herself. But if she would just focus on stuff not Miguel-related then maybe things would be different. Between us and her other friends. I would actually be civil to her and probably so would Reese, Simone and even Miguel. She sighed, wrapping the coat around her for warmth as she walked to her next class.

___________________________________________________________________________

Late that afternoon, after Kay had finished all of her classes and her shift at work, she headed back to the dorm she shared with Whitney and Theresa. 

She let herself in, only to find her older brother, Noah, sitting on Theresa's bed. She could hear Theresa in the bathroom taking a shower. 

"Hey bro," she managed out. She was dead-tired. 

"Hey, you look like hell," he responded nonchalantly. 

"Thanks for noticing," she sneered sarcastically before flopping down on her bed. 

****

"What's wrong, Kay?" he asked worriedly. He could tell something was wrong. Kay barely ever talked sarcastically to anybody. 

"I'm just beat, ok?" she insisted. "It's been a long day."

"Come on, Kay. I know that's not it. Tell me, why weren't you at the dinner get together Mom planned this past weekend?" 

Kay sighed. He had her cornered. She was surprised to know, though, that Noah didn't know about the whole thing with Miguel. She knew that her older brother was not_ that _close with the family, but she did expect him to know about_ that._

She stared back at Noah, not really answering his question. 

Lowering his voice so Theresa wouldn't hear from the next room, "does this have to do with Miguel?" he asked out of the blue, surprising her once again. 

She stared at him, both eyebrows raised in shock. "How did you...."

  
"Mom told me," he replied, answering the question Kay was most likely going to ask. 

"Oh, well, I'm sure she told you her biased version of it," Kay scoffed angrily. 

Noah chose to ignore that last comment. "Kay how long have you been feeling this way?"

"Five years," Kay replied after a moment of silence. "I even told him three years ago how I felt. Do you know what he said?" she asked him, unhappiness etching her face.

Of course, Noah didn't, so he shook his head. But he could tell that it wasn't going to be a good thing.

"He said that now he knew why I was on the softball team he was on and why I tried to be his best friend. Just so I can get closer to him." She peered into the eyes of her brother. "Do you know how much that hurt?! For him not to say that he loves me back is hard enough. But to say that! It was just like a bullet through my heart."

Noah noticed the sadness in Kay's voice. He wished he could take the pain away, but he knew he couldn't. 

"We haven't been the same ever since. Our friendship is dead. Now every time he sees me, I can tell he is thinking what my next plot is to break him and Charity apart. He says he sees the real Kay Bennett now. The one who schemes and lies just to get what she wants. But I'm not completely like that. But that's what he thinks. That's what he's always going tothink." She sighed before feeling her brother wrap his arms around her in a hug. 

Noah and Kay heard the bathroom door unlock. Theresa stepped out, covered in her robe. She saw her roommate and boyfriend hugging. The mood surrounding them seemed sad. 

"What's wrong?" she asked them both. 

"Umm," Noah began. 

"Nothing," Kay interrupted quickly. "I, uhh, I just need some fresh air." She reached over to grap her purse. Sending a look of don't-tell-her-anything to her brother, she was out the door. 

"Why did Kay look so sad?" Theresa asked Noah once she left. 

"Oh, don't worry about it," Noah said. Trying to change the subject, he bent down to kiss his girlfriend.

"Hmmm," Theresa murmured as Noah deepened the kiss. 

___________________________________________________________________________

Kay walked out of her dorm room. Hungry as hell, she decided to get something to eat from the food complex close to the bookstore. It was a fifteen minute walk, but she didn't care. Maybe she could use that time to clear her head a little bit. 

Kay got to the food complex, the headache that had started when she had walked away from Noah and Theresa had subdued considerably. Having opted for some pizza, she sat down in one of the tables, and began to eat. 

Looking around her, she saw John stepping out of the bookstore. She waved to him, inviting him over. 

"Hi, Kay," he smiled. "How are you?"

"I'm good. What are you doing here?" she asked. 

"Buying some books." 

"Do you want to join me?" she pointed to an empty chair next to hers. 

"Sure," he said, before sitting down. He was hoping he would run into her one of these days. He was remembering the conversation he had with Jessica earlier that day and how he wanted to find out for himself what Kay was really like. Growing up, John always hated how people would let other peoples' opinions on things become their own. He vowed he would never do that himself, under no circumstance. This situation was no different. 

"So how was your day?" she asked. She really didn't know John that well, but he seemed nice. Plus he had this uncanny way of making her forget about her problems with Miguel and everyone else. 

"Not bad. I got an A - on my English paper," he told her, remembering that she was fond of English. 

"Oh really? That's great. Do you mind if I take a look at it?" Kay asked, interested. 

"No, not at all. As long as you're not planning on plagiarizing," John joked. 

Kay let out a soft laugh. "This is for English 255 right?"

"Yeah," John replied. He handed her the paper. 

"Thanks," Kay replied. "Do you mind if I give it to you tomorrow? I want to read the whole thing."

"Go ahead," John answered. 

Silence came forth between the two. 

John didn't know how to start a conversation with Kay about Miguel and Charity without sounding completely obvious and getting her upset. So he just said the first thing that came to mind:

"Kay, umm, I was wondering if you were planning on going to Miguel and Charity's wedding."

The remote amount of happiness that was already on Kay's face disappeared in an instant at the mention of the engaged couple. 

"What?" she asked, confused.

"Are you planning on going?" he pressed again. 

"Did they make you ask me?" Kay asked, bewildered, referring to Miguel and Charity. 

"No, no," John exclaimed. _"I'm_ asking you. I don't have a date for the wedding and I thought maybe we could go together."

"Oh," Kay said, sitting back in her seat. "I mean how close is the wedding? There's still a few months left right?"

"One month," John informed her. 

Kay's eyes bulged. _One month?!_ "Oh, I, umm, I'd love to go with you, but I don't know if I'm going at all."

Kay couldn't miss that look of disappointment on John's face. But she was disappointed, too. Disappointed that she couldn't be the better person in all of this, and just go to the wedding, and put on her bravest face. Make herself proud. Make everybody proud.

{a/n: in response to what sailorj-chan wrote in the review: dont worry if theres grace bashing now. i hate grace, but with this fic im doing a lot of things i normally wouldnt do. like pair kay with john instead of miguel. the grace bashing will end trust me. but only this fic lol. anyways, i hope ur still reading this. im trying my best to upload asap but its not easy with 4 other fics out there. oh well. more to come soon}


	4. The Benefit of the Doubt

Chapter 4:

"Hey man," Chad Harris told his roommate, John. "I'm going over to Whitney's, Theresa's and Kay's dorm. Noah, Fox and Simone are gonna be there, too. We're gonna go out to eat. You wanna come?"

"Sure," John replied, trying to act nonchalant. 

Chad laughed. "I know you got the hots for Kay, man. It's so obvious."

"I do _not,"_ John protested. "I like her a lot, but I don't know her that well."

"Well she's a nice girl, but she's way too stuck up on Miguel. That pretty much sums it up."

"I'm sure it does," John retorted sarcastically. "I don't get you guys. You, along with the others, are supposed to be her friend, but you treat her like dirt."

"Hey, hey!" Chad protested, raising his arms in surrender. "I just said she's a nice girl."

"But you also said she's too stuck up on Miguel. You know there is more to Kay than Miguel."

"Really?" Chad asked, not buying it. "And how would you know that? You just said that you don't know her that well."

John sighed. He knew deep down that Kay wasn't only about Miguel. But the others didn't seem to think so. Grabbing his jacket and wallet, he followed Chad outside without a word. 

  
___________________________________________________________________________

By the time they reached the girls' dorm, only Kay was there. 

She let them inside, hugging Chad and John hello. 

"Where's everyone else?" Chad asked, sitting down on Whitney's bed. 

"Well Whitney and Theresa went shopping a few hours ago. They'll be back soon. Noah, Fox and Simone haven't shown up yet."

"Oh," Chad replied, disappointed. He hated waiting for others. "Mind if I smoke in here?" he asked Kay, taking out a cigarrette and lighter. 

"Yes," Kay replied indignantly. 

"All right then I'll do it outside," Chad laughed. He stood up, leaving John and Kay alone in the room. 

Before walking out the door, he gave a wink to John like 'go-get-em.' John rolled his eyes. Kay's face took on a look of amusement since she had seen that wink. She almost wanted to laugh out loud, but she stifled it. 

Kay sat down on her bed, taking the sandals off her feet. She seemed to be in her own little world, hardly noticing that there was someone else in the room with her. 

"What are you thinking about?" John asked Kay, who liked like she was miles away. 

She gave a short, nervous laugh. "Can you keep a secret?" She knew she couldn't really tell anyone else this, even though they sort of indirectly knew it already. But she thought she could trust John, so she decided to truthfully answer his question. 

He nodded to her. "Of course," he said. 

"Well I was thinking about how I'm going to stand up in the church when the priest asks if there is anyone who is against the marriage of Miguel and Charity."

"You're _what?!"_ he cried out, shocked.

She nodded. "I can't think of anything else to break them up!"

"Oh my God, Kay!" he shouted, disdain and disgust evident in his tone of voice. 

"What, John?" Kay asked. "It's all in the name of love."

"Bullshit, Kay!" he responded loudly. "Miguel doesn't love you."

"But I love him," Kay protested. 

"He still doesn't love you! Can't you let him be happy? How can you do this to them?"

Kay shook her head in amazement. "What made me actually think _you'd_ understand?! I thought you were different, John. But you're like everyone else. Judgmental of every little thing I do."

"No, Kay, no," John exclaimed, shaking his head. "I'm not like them. I gave you the benefit of the doubt. Even when everyone spoke so low of you, I wanted to find out for myself who you actually were. I didn't want to take their opinions and make them mine. That's why I asked you to coffee that day awhile back."

"Oh, that makes me feel better," Kay said sarcastically. "And what do you think of me now?" She waited for his answer. 

"I think what you're doing is wrong," he said in a low voice. 

"Get out," she screamed, pointing to the door. "I don't want to talk to you. So leave."

"No!" John retaliated, surprising himself as well as her. "I'm not leaving, Kay. I'm sorry if you don't like what I said, but what you are doing is wrong!"

"Fine, dammit!" Kay hissed, through clenched teeth. "If you're not going to leave, then I will!" She hopped off the bed, stepped into her sandals and took her purse in her hands. "Tell the others I'm not up to going out today. I'm sure they'll _understand. _Oh and here's your paper." She threw his essay paper at him, the one that he had let her look over recently. 

"Kay...." John said, trying to persuade her to stay and forget about everything they had just discussed. She shut the door behind her with a thud, leaving him alone in the room. 

Chad, who was standing outside in the hallway of the dorm building saw Kay walk right past him without a word, her face marred with anger. 

Dropping his unfinished cigarette on the ground, and stepping on it for good measure, he walked back to the room, letting himself in. 

"Yo man, what happened?" he asked John, who was lying down on one of the beds. 

"She got pissed," came John's upset reply. 

"Why?" Chad asked. This wasn't how things were supposed to go between them, he thought to himself. 

"Because she told me that she still wants Miguel and I told her that she should give it up." John replied, not telling Chad the complete truth. Sure he was upset with Kay right now, but he wouldn't tell the others of Kay's plan to stop Miguel and Charity's wedding. That would get her REALLY mad. And he didn't want that. 

Chad sighed. "Damn, man," he said. "That girl has so much going for her, and all she cares about is Miguel. What a shame."

"Yeah, I know," John replied slowly, letting out a long, frustrated breath. "She's smart, she's beautiful and funny and... and all she wants is Miguel." He sighed, agreeing with Chad. He leaned back against the wall. "Dammit."

Chad looked at his roommate oddly. "You like her, don't you?" And he didn't mean like in a friendly sense. 

John didn't reply, but the answer was quite evident. 

___________________________________________________________________________

{a/n: i hope ur still reading this. and reviewing lol. thanks to shannon for her interest in this story. and thanks to all the other reviewers. i appreciate it. sorry if u didnt like this chapter. it will get better trust me. 5 more chapters left.}


	5. Thoughts And An Almost Kiss

Chapter 5:

John sighed deeply to himself, remembering the events of yesterday. Especially his fight with Kay. It was so stupid, he wished he could just make her forget about it. But more importantly, he wished she would just forget about Miguel. 

He remembered how yesterday, after Kay had stormed off angrily, the others had come to her dorm, and they had gone out to eat. John had lost most of his appetite, but he decided to still come along. The others had asked where Kay had disappeared to, and Chad and John had told them that she had some work to do at the library. 

John remembered going out to eat with the others. That was the last place he wanted to be. At a restaurant where Chad and Whitney, as well as Noah and Theresa, and Fox and Simone would be making googly eye contact with each other. All he could think about was Kay, and how he wished she would be there, sitting across from him, and giving _him_ one of those looks. 

He laid back on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He was actually feeling something he had never felt before. Was it love? He didn't know for sure. But what he did know was that what he was presently feeling was definitely headed for that direction. 

He had waited so long to find someone he could be interested in, and from first glance Kay had had that effect on him. But her heart belonged to another. Another who was willing to step all over it and discard it. 

It's not fair, he wanted to scream. Sighing, he stood up straight in his bed, his eyes falling on the numerous textbooks on his desk that were just waiting to be read. 

Deciding to study to get his mind off of Kay, he reached for one of the textbooks and its syllabus, and began to complete the assigned work. 

________________________________________

A few days later, Kay was heading for her dorm room straight after work when she noticed John sitting down right in front of it. He looked like he had been there for a while. 

"Hi," he said quietly when he noticed her. 

"Hi," she replied slowly. She was still upset over the things he had said to her the last time they had spoke, but her anger level had definitely plunged down. 

She had thought about what he had said, and as much as she didn't want to admit it, she knew he was right. It was wrong of her to try to stop Miguel's wedding. But she loved him so much! What else could she do to make him hers?!

It had hit her like lightning. She had finally realized who she had become. She had looked in the mirror that night, and she had to admit that she didn't like the person staring back at her. So lifeless. Loveless. So lost. She had to find herself again. But she couldn't give up on Miguel. So she had decided to do her best to be the Kay she, along with everyone else, would recognize again. But the only thing that would be her step back when she was attempting to move forward was Miguel. She still loved him, and refused to let him go, even though he had done that to her by pretty much dumping her friendship. 

Shaking her thoughts out of her reverie, she stared at John. 

"Do you want to come in?" she asked. 

"Yeah," he replied, surprised. She didn't seem too mad. He stood up.

She unlocked the door, and led herself inside. 

Theresa and Whitney were nowhere to be found. Dumping her purse on her bed, she sat down and turned to John.

"I came here to apologize, Kay," John began. "It was wrong of me to judge you like that, especially since I don't know you that -"

"Don't," Kay interrupted hastily. 

He stared at her in confusion. 

"You were right. As much as I hate it, what you said was true. What I was planning on doing was wrong." She shook her head in wonder. "I just," she paused, as she tried to find the right words. "I just love Miguel so much." She sighed.

John stared back at her, not knowing what to say. Her words were tugging at his heart. It's so ironic, he thought to himself. Here I am myself falling for a girl who is in love with another boy who will never think of her in the way I'm thinking of her. 

John did the only thing he could do. He comforted her. He walked over to where she was sitting on her bed, and put his arms around her. If he couldn't have her, the least he could do was be there for her. 

She fell into his warm touch, just sitting there like that with the feel of him so close to her as she absorbed her thoughts. 

"You've been a great friend to me," she said a little bit later. She looked up to meet his gaze. "Thank you."

He looked back at her, transfixed and lost in her chocolate brown eyes. 

Their faces were so close. If he just leaned over slightly, he could catch a small kiss from her lips. The temptation was rising with every passing second. 

They sat lost in that gaze and posture for a little bit. Kay's eyes searched John's, as to get a clue into his thoughts. John, on the other hand, was searching for a facial feature of Kay's that would practically give away the desire she could have for him to kiss her. He saw her eyes shine, and for a second he thought he saw what he wanted to see. That Kay wanted this probable kiss as much as he did. 

Just as he was going to bring his face more closer to Kay's than it already was, they were interrupted by Whitney barging into the room. 

"You in here, Kay?" Whitney cried, before glancing at either of them. "My class was cancel-" She looked up to see John and Kay uncomfortably separate from each other. He stood up. 

"Oh, hi, John," Whitney said quietly. She could tell she had prevented something from happening by coming inside. 

"Hi," he said back, offering a small smile. "I better go. Bye Whitney, bye Kay."

"Bye," Whitney and Kay said simultaneously. 

Without looking back, he walked out of the room. 

"Girl, what did I walk in on?" Whitney demanded to know, turning to her roommate. 

"I don't know," Kay replied, lost in her own thoughts. She had seen the passion in John's eyes. Was that passion he felt solely for her, or did the mood and the situation get the better of him and cause him to act that way? She couldn't tell. 

"Are you and John..." Whitney began. "You know...." She winked. 

"No," Kay answered, shaking her head. "No."

I love Miguel, Kay reminded herself. I can never love anyone the way I love him. But she couldn't help wish that Whitney hadn't barged in when she did. 

{a/n: what do u all think so far? Let me know!}


	6. A Conversation of Acceptance

Chapter 6:

****

The following weekend, Kay, Jessica and Charity headed home. Grace wanted to plan the wedding more, especially the bridesmaids' gowns and such. As much as it hurt, Kay had chosen to agree when her mother had called her, asking if she'd come. 

Grace had been all ready to protest, because she assumed Kay would say no, just like she had done last time. But her daughter had surprised her. 

"Ok. I'll come," she had said. 

"Really?" her mother had answered, shocked to the core. 

"Yeah," Kay had sighed. 

Grace could feel the pain her daughter was going through, even if it was just through her tone of voice through the telephone. But she was so proud of her. 

Kay, Jessica and Charity met up at the Bennett's sometime Saturday afternoon. Jessica gave her sister a hug, even though in the back of her mind, she was wondering what had _really_ brought Kay here. Charity was being very nice to Kay, nicer than usual. 

A little bit later, Grace sat down with them to discuss the wedding. 

"So Jessica is going to be the maid of honor?" she asked. 

"Yes," Charity said. "At least I hope she still will be." 

Jessica and Grace laughed, as did Charity. They turned to look at Kay, who forced out a small smile and a chuckle in response. 

"So how many bridesmaids will you have and who will they be?" Jessica asked. 

"Well I was hoping Kay, Paloma, Theresa, Whitney, and Simone would all be bridesmaids." She sent a hopeful look Kay's way. 

Kay shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Umm, yeah," she nodded slowly. "Do you have the dresses yet?"

"Yeah," Charity replied. "They're hanging from my closet door in my old room. Do you want to try it on?"

"Ok," answered Kay. "I'll be back."

Grace, Charity and Jessica nodded. 

Kay went upstairs into Charity's room. She eyed the satiny light green dress. Taking it off the hanger, she unzipped the back. She was just about to peel off her clothes to try it on, but not before her gaze fell on another dress. Charity's wedding dress. 

Kay dropped the dress she was holding. It fell to her feet. She couldn't take her eyes off of the beautiful white dress in front of her. It was a rich shade of white, and had a plunging neckline. It was beaded all throughout the front. That dress could have been hers, she knew. In her heart, she felt it should have been hers. She couldn't help but break down in tears at the thought. 

Just then her mother knocked on the door and let herself in. She saw Kay eyeing Charity's wedding gown, and she could tell exactly what her daughter was thinking. 

"Oh, umm, I'm not ready yet," Kay mumbled, picking up the fallen dress, and wiping her stray tears quickly away. 

"Oh, that's not why I'm here," Grace said. 

Kay heaved out a sigh. She could feel another lecture coming on. 

"I'm proud of you," her mother said, surprising her.

"What?" Kay asked, a look of confusion on her face. "Why?"

"Because you're here. I'm sure it hurts very much. But I'm glad you've given up on Miguel. He's not right for you."

"What?" Kay asked, baffled. "I haven't given up on Miguel!"

"You...you haven't?" Grace stammered. 

"No. I still love him." Kay looked at her mother pointedly.

"Then what are you doing here?" she couldn't help ask. If Kay still loved Miguel, what was she doing here helping her cousin plan her marriage to him?

Kay shook her head in bewilderment. Here she was trying to get through it all and be a better person, but just by saying that she still loved Miguel, her mother automatically assumed that she was still planning on breaking him and Charity up. "I don't even know," she sneered angrily, throwing her arms up in exasperation before storming out. 

____________________________________________________________

"Kat?" came a voice right outside Kay's old bedroom in the Bennett's home. 

"Where?" she asked back, not looking up from the book she was reading on her bed. 

"No, not _a _cat," came the reply again. "I meant you. Kat." Miguel opened the door to Kay's room, and walked towards her. 

She looked up at him oddly. He hadn't called her Kat in a long time. Heck, he hadn't even spoken properly to her in a long time. 

"What do you want?" she asked quietly. Having just gone through a small argument with her mother, Kay was in no mood to have another one. Especially not with Miguel. 

"I wanted to talk to you," he responded, sitting down next to her on the bed. 

She dropped the book she was holding, making sure to put the bookmark inside before closing it. "So talk," she said, folding her arms.

"I don't know how to begin, Kat," he admitted. 

"Just tell me what you're thinking," she suggested.

"I guess what I'm thinking, umm feeling is regret. Regret for the way I've treated you lately. I haven't been a good friend to you, but you know why."

Kay nodded, looking away. "I know," she whispered quietly. 

"I'm not blaming you, Kat," Miguel quickly put in. "We both could have handled the situation better. But we didn't. That's why I'm here. To make up for my mistakes. I want us to be friends again. Like we used to be."

Kay looked back at the love of her life, the tears already forming in her eyes. She didn't _want_ to be friends, but she knew that that was all she would get out of him. Friendship. Choking back a sob, she nodded. 

"Great," he smiled. Reaching over, he wrapped his arms around her for a quick moment, before letting go and standing up. 

She saw him walk towards the door. 

"So that's it?" Kay cried out to his back. 

He turned around. "What do you mean?" he asked. 

"We're friends now. That doesn't mean that I still don't love you!"

"Kat..." Miguel's voice trailed off. He thought that everything had been cleared between them. But it was evident that they had more messes to clean up amongst themselves.

"What, Miguel, huh?" Kay was almost shouting. She was shaking from her anger. How dare he come here, act all nice, pledge friendship to her again, and once he received it, assume everything to be fine! He had only come here for his own sake. Just to close out the awkwardness between us. After all, he's getting married in 2 weeks, and he doesn't want anything to lessen his good spirits, Kay thought to herself with animosity.

Miguel sighed. "Kat please just give this up. You and I will never be. I know that and so do you, deep down."

"But I love you. That I _know_ deep down." Her chin quivered as she supressed the sob that was rising in her throat. 

He walked over and sat down on her bed again. "Kat," he pleaded with his eyes, taking her hands in his. 

She didn't respond. 

"We were only meant to be friends. That's how we began and that's how we will end. Please just let it go. Come on, I'm not worth it."

"That's a lie," Kay cried out, her tone coming out harsher than expected. "You are my world. I love you so much. Oh, Miguel," she let out labored patterns of breath, as her fingers traveled to his face, resting over the counters of his lips. 

"Kat, don't," Miguel said firmly, pushing her hand away. "Can't you just accept this?! That's all I'm asking you to do."

"I have accepted this!" she hissed. "Can't you see? I'm here aren't I?" she pointed to where she was, referring to the house. "I'm helping your fiancée out with the wedding plans. It's killing me but I'm doing it. It's funny how such a joyous occasion is sucking the life out of me."

Miguel leaned back away from her and heaved out a half-sigh. It was true - this wedding was killing Kay emotionally. And there was no solution. 

"Thank you, Kat," he whispered after a minute of silence. 

She knew what he was thankful for, and as much as it hurt her to finally accept him with Charity, it made her smile a bit inside seeming him so happy. 

He leaned closer, drawing her into a bear hug. They sat like that for a few minutes, not saying anything, but then again, not having to. They understood what the other was now thinking, more than words could ever explain.

{a/n: thnx 4 all of the reviews. u guys r great. 3 more chapters left, that is if i decide not to change some things by then. in response to midnightdimund's questions, yes i am making some of the stuff here in connection with my college experience. and yes english 255 is a real course, at my university anyway. lol. keep reading. next up: the wedding!}


	7. I Do Heartbreak You

Chapter 7:

Kay woke up in her old room early that morning. She wasn't much of a light sleeper, but hearing Charity's and Jessica's cries and shouts from the next room was enough to wake up even the heaviest sleeper. She was just about to scream at them herself, ask them what was so important this early in the morning and why they had to be so loud, when she remembered what day today was. Charity and Miguel's wedding day. 

Kay slumped back down into her bed as that realization set in. This was the worst day of her life, and it hadn't even begun yet! 

Kay closed her eyes, hoping she could suppress the reality around her with all her might by squinching her eyes closed as hard as possible, but of course it was to no avail. 

Kay opened her eyes, and much to her dismay, she was still able to hear the shuffling of feet, the opening and closing of drawers and such. 

Time to get up and face the music, Kay told herself. The wedding music....

___________________________________________________________

Meanwhile in her room, Charity was frantically straightening her hair with a iron, having Jessica put her makeup on, and trying to find her shoes, all at the same time. 

"I can really use Kay's help," Charity informed Jessica. "Can you see if she's awake yet?"

"Sure," Jessica nodded. She was glad Charity had mentioned waking Kay up. She was just hoping Kay would be taking everything well today. For her own sake, as well as Miguel and Charity's. 

"Kay?" came a knock in Kay's room. "Kay, are you awake?"

"Yeah, Jessica," came Kay's low reply. "I'll be out soon."

Kay sighed. She was glad there was a lock on the bedroom door. She didn't need her sister's hard dose of reality about Miguel and Charity's love. Still in bed, Kay grabbed the small picture frame on her desk, and brought it closer to her. It was a picture of her and Miguel, when they were thirteen years old. He still looked about the same now as he did then. Bringing the frame to her heart, Kay tried to keep her tears at bay. She glanced one last time at the picture, leaning down and kissing his photograph, before slowly putting the frame back on her desk, and getting out of bed. 

"Today I say goodbye, Miguel," she whispered inaudibly, her eyes still on the picture. "Goodbye...." She felt the tears flow down her face as she stepped out of her room, and went to get ready for what was to come. 

____________________________________________________________

Over at the Lopez-Fitzgerald house, Miguel, Luis, Antonio and Martin were getting ready, with Theresa's, Paloma's and Pilar's help. 

It didn't take long for the men to get ready. But the girls still needed at least another half hour. Theresa, Paloma and Pilar told the men they would go over to the Bennett's house once they finished, to check up on Charity, and that they would meet them at the church. 

__________________________________________________________

An hour and a half later, Miguel and his brothers, as well as the ushers, Reese, Chad, Fox, John, Timmy and Noah, were inside the church, anxiously waiting for the women to arrive. 

Not too long later, the limousine carrying Kay, Charity, Jessica, Theresa, Whitney, Simone, Paloma, as well as Grace Bennett, pulled up in front of the beautiful church. 

They piled out on by one, Kay being the first out of the limo. 

"Kay will you go up and tell them that we are here?" Grace asked her daughter. 

Kay hesitated, before nodding and saying "sure mom." Picking up her long dress, so as not to trip over it, she headed up the few steps to the church. 

Just as she was opening the door, Miguel and John were heading outside to check if the limo had arrived yet. 

"We're here," she nodded, even though Miguel hadn't said anything yet. She could tell what he was thinking and how anxious he was. 

Kay could feel John's eyes burn holes into her being, and it instantly made her remember that almost kiss they had shared. Try as she might though, she couldn't tear her eyes off of Miguel's. 

"Good," Miguel whispered. He didn't know what to say. Kay looked so beautiful in her dress, and he noticed how she had kept her makeup to a minimum. He knew why. Tears. 

He drew his best friend into a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek before he headed back inside. That left John and Kay alone for a few minutes. 

"You look great," he said, speaking up for the first time. 

"Thank you," she smiled awkwardly. What does it matter if I look great on the day that I feel terrible, she thought to herself. But she knew John didn't mean no harm with the compliment, so she returned it by saying "so do you."

"It looks like I will be your usher through the ceremony," John said, but Kay had lost touch with his conversation. She heard Charity making her way up the stairs, and the train of her dress smoothly flowing over the ground. 

"Did you tell them Kay?" Grace asked anxiously. 

Kay nodded, as she offered her arm to John for linkage. After Simone and Fox, they would be the next pair to walk down the aisle. 

____________________________________________________________

Inside that peaceful church in the small town of Harmony, two vows were being taken, and one heart was being broken. 

Kay, who was standing next to her sister, Jessica, watched Miguel and Charity, who were a few feet away. They were so in love. It hit her like a ton of bricks. Her heart was being stoned with every passing word by the priest and every passing second of Miguel and Charity's wedding day. 

She tried to keep her tears to a minimum, after all, it wasn't like she was sitting down in one of the pews, where it would not be as noticeble if she cried! She was standing up, holding on to the flowers Charity had chosen specially for her bridesmaids, in front of the audience. She sobbed softly to herself, so as not to draw attention. 

"Do you Miguel take Charity to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Kay wanted to puke. Gulping back the lump that had formed long ago in her throat, she watched the man of her dreams say a simple 'I do', one which was a beginning for his new life with Charity, but an ending of Kay's hopes and dreams of finding love with him. 

"And do you Charity take Miguel to be your....." Kay lost touch with the rest of the ceremony. The tears that had lingered near her eyes fell over, as her chances with Miguel were finally destroyed. 

She watched the happy couple share their first kiss as man and wife, and she wanted to scream in agony inside. She closed her eyes and mouth simultaneously, the previous to not "see" the vision before her, and the latter to suppress the sob rising in her throat.

Miguel and Charity ran off down the aisle, holding hands, never having looked happier. They would meet the guests at the reception in an hour. 

The audience dispersed outside, some going together to their cars, and making their way to the reception hall. Kay stayed back. 

"Kay are you coming?" Grace asked her. She knew how much her daughter was suffering and she wanted to help her in any way she could. 

"I'll find a ride," she replied in a barely audible voice. 

Her mother nodded reluctantly, before going outside and leaving Kay alone. 

Kay looked around, noticing she was the only person left in the church. Not able to control her emotions any longer, and having no reason not to express them, she fell into one of the pews, letting the tears and the pain take over her whole body. 

{a/n: I worked hard on this chapter to make it realistic and natural. i hope i succeeded. what did you think of it? feedback is appreciated. next up: the wedding continues at the reception hall.} 


	8. Getting Through The Pain

Chapter 8:

{a/n: thank you for the wonderful reviews for the last chapter. im glad to c u liked it, even though it was sad. _I decided to revise this chapter, because I had left out something I wanted to include in it.}_

"I'm so happy for them!" Jessica squealed to her friends from outside of the church as they watched the limo that was carrying the newlyweds disappear into the distance. 

Despite the bustle of activity and chitchat taking place outside, everyone could hear the loud sobs coming from inside the church. Coming from Kay of course. She was the lone sad face in the sea of smiles that day. 

Jessica sighed as her sister's cries evidently got louder. She hated the fact that Kay loved Miguel - it only caused problems. But she had to give Kay her due; she had been strong through the ceremony, and even though she was letting out tears now, it was in private. 

"Should we go?" Reese's words snapped her out of her reverie. 

"But what about Kay?" Jessica asked, pointing to the door of the church. 

"She's strong. She'll pull herself together."

"Yeah, but she didn't drive here," she countered. "How is she going to get to the reception?"

Reese had no reply. Kay was not one of his favorite people. Having once had a crush on her, and it turning out with her professing her love for his best friend - Miguel - _and not him,_ his opinion of her had taken a definitive nosedive. 

"I... I can stay," John spoke up, having heard the last part of Reese and Jessica's conversation. "I'll make sure she gets to the reception."

Reese breathed a sigh of relief, while Jessica's eyebrows raised up high. She saw the way John had been looking at Kay lately. How he would always stand up for her and be there for her. She could tell he wanted more than just a platonic relationship with her sister. But did Kay know that? And if she did, what was she going to do about it?

"Thanks, John," Reese whispered to him gratefully, as if John had spared him the most tortorous of tasks. 

Jessica shot a glare at her boyfriend, but not before sending a look that spoke of _I know you're in love with my sister_ to John. 

John saw that look in Jessica's gaze, but he quickly averted his eyes and went inside the church. Everyone seems to know how I feel about Kay, he thought to himself. Everyone _but_ Kay. 

______________________________________________________________________________

The door creaked open and someone could be heard coming inside. 

Wiping at her tears, Kay looked up from her seat on the pew into the eyes of John Hastings. 

Her eyes were bloodshot and small. Her face gave away all of her emotions, nothing was hidden that day. Kay Bennett's shadow had died down and in its place came her real being. 

She wasn't going to pretend. Act like everything was fine. Because in her heart, it wasn't. She had lost the one man she loved that day. And it wasn't even death - no this was much worse. He had finally become related to her, but only through the hands of her cousin. 

John quickly opened up his arms, and Kay melted into his touch, crying a fresh set of tears on his supportive shoulder. 

"I'm so sorry," he whispered into her ear, hugging her close. 

She shook her head up and down, wiping at her tear-streaked face. 

"Should we go?" he suggested. 

Kay nodded. If she could handle seeing Miguel and Charity get married, then surely she could take them celebrating their wedding. 

______________________________________________________________________________

John and Kay got to the reception hall in his car not too long later, five minutes before Miguel and Charity did. 

"Hey," Kay nodded to Simone and Fox. Her tears had been dried, and after reapplying the miniscule amount of makeup she had had on, she looked normal just like before. Whatever that meant. 

"Hi," Simone stood up, giving Kay a hug. It seemed to have a contagious effect because Kay could then feel Whitney, Theresa, Paloma and Jessica hugging her. 

Kay beamed at them all, a small smile that barely narrowed her eyes into an almond shape of happiness. Just as she was sitting down, she saw the newlyweds make their way into the big hall where they would be celebrating the start of their new lives together.

Kay saw how Charity placed her arms around Miguel's neck as they shared their first dance as man and wife. She couldn't miss the smile perched on Miguel's face, nor how close he was holding Charity to him. With every passing second, one more needle seemed to poke into Kay's heart. 

Kay sighed inwardly, causing her friends, who were sitting at the same table, to notice. "I'm going to go get some fresh air," she informed the others. 

"No, Kay," Simone said, placing her hand on her best friend's arm. "Don't. You don't have to go through this alone. I'm here for you." She smiled sincerely. 

Kay stared at her childhood friend. She had missed her so much. The old Simone, the one who she would have sleepover's with and hang out on a whim with. Not the one who had practically dumped Kay's friendship after Kay became infatuated with Miguel. 

Kay couldn't help remember how she and Simone had made a pact that once they reached college, they would dorm together. But having been on the outs once they reached that plateau in their lives, it had never been consummated. 

Kay's chin quivered slightly, but she didn't say anything. Instead she gave a reassuring smile back to Simone, silently letting her know that she was staying. 

______________________________________________________________________________

The rest of the night seemed to drag on slowly, full of whistles and toasts to the happy couple. Champagne seemed to swim around in the glasses, causing giddy laughter from table to table. Kay watched it all with impatience. How she hoped this night would end so she never again had to endure the ultimate sadness of losing Miguel for good, but she still had to admit that no previous night had stressed such definition to her life. 

Losing Miguel had brought her an uncanny form of wisdom. She was sadder but wiser. Getting over Miguel was going to be a long and tough journey, yet she knew some good would come out of it at the end. _But it just seemed so far off...._

Kay's thoughts were forgotten as she noticed Miguel standing before her. 

"May I have this dance?" Miguel asked, extending his hand to her. 

She couldn't say yes. How was she supposed to move on? Dancing with him at his wedding to her cousin wasn't going to help. But looking into his chocolate brown eyes, she saw his friendship and respect. And it was all for her. She took his hand, as they walked to the dance floor. 

{a/n: i hope you liked this chapter too. i wanted to bring some background information in this chapter, like the part about reese, and the part about simone. next up: miguel and kay dance and converse.}


	9. The Wedding Conversations

Chapter 9:

"You look happy," Kay marvelled, chuckling.

"It's all thanks to you," he whispered softly, kissing her on the cheek. 

Kay felt Miguel's cool lips burning on one side of her face. She could feel his kiss invisibly imprinted there. 

She turned away as a new river of tears was forming around her eyes. 

Noticing Kay's eyes water, Miguel was quick to change the subject. "You know Whitney told Theresa who told me that a few weeks ago she walked in on you and John and that you two were in a compromising situation." That was something he wanted to question Kay about lately, but he had never found the perfect opportunity to bring up that topic. 

That was not something she expected Miguel to say. Why would Theresa tell him that? "Wha..." Kay paused as she remembered that day. Then her defensive side took over."Yeah, so what. Nothing happened."

"But it could have," Miguel said gently, trying not to lead it too far, but to give her enough push in the right direction. 

"It didn't. Sure John is a great guy, but I'm not ready to give my heart over to him. I still love you. You still have my heart. Completely." 

"Who says you have to give him your heart? Just go out with him. See how he makes you feel. Take it slow. Just get over me, Kat."

"I can't. It's not that simple. It can take years..."

"Why, Kat? It should be fairly easy to get over me." His tone was marked with a bit of exasperation. He ever so badly wanted Kay to forget about him, for her own sake. She deserved to love someone who was going to love her equally in return. And that definitely wasn't him, but it _was_ John, at least by Miguel's point of view. 

"It's not. I love you. For years I have loved you, wanted you. I can't get rid of it that easily. It's the only thing I've known - to be in _love_ with you." 

Miguel closed his eyes for a moment, before reopening them. Her words - that drawl - it had poked holes into his heart. He couldn't imagine ever feeling what Kay had been feeling for so long, and to not get that lovely feeling in return. "John's a good guy. He's _great_ for you," Miguel insisted, trying to forget her words. 

"Why do you keep saying that?! How do you know?" Kay was getting upset. Here she was getting love advice from the only man her heart desired. Talk about ironic. 

"I just do. I can feel it. He can love you the way you should be loved. And I think you can love him too." 

"And why do you think that?" Kay raised her eyebrows in wonder. 

"Because i can see it. I know you well enough Kat. I know what you like and don't like. I know who you are. Sometimes better than you know yourself. John's the one."

Kay looked over at John, who was dancing with Charity. "He's a good friend," she admitted but that was as far as she would go with admittance that day.

"Yes, but unlike me, he's not meant to be just a friend to you," Miguel continued, arching his eyebrows to make his point. 

Kay looked into Miguel's eyes and nodded.

They continued to strut around the dance floor for a little bit longer, before Miguel leaned over, whispering in her ear. "Go dance with him." He squeezed her hand affectionately.

She gave a small smile, shaking her head up and down in agreement. Turning around, she scanned the crowd for a sign of John. She didn't see him anywhere. 

"Maybe he went outside for some fresh air," Miguel shrugged his shoulders, noticing how John was missing from the ballroom. 

"Maybe," she replied back. Quickly kissing Miguel on the cheek, Kay made her way outside to find John.

Flinging the door open, Kay stepped outside to feel the New England spring weather absorb her. She spotted John in one corner, by the parking lot, talking to Simone and Fox. 

"Hi," Kay nodded as she approached them. 

"Hi, Kay, how you doing?" Fox asked her. 

"Ok," she shrugged. "Can I talk to John for a minute? Alone?" she looked at her friends for their reply's. 

"Sure," Simone responded, practically grabbing Fox's arm and dragging him inside. 

"See you later," Fox shouted to them. 

Kay waved bye to them before turning to face John.

"I wanted to umm, talk to you," Kay began unsurely. 

"Yeah, I got that idea already," John joked.

Kay laughed apprehensively. She didn't know why she was so nervous. She never had felt this way in front of John before, but then again Kay couldn't remember the last guy she liked who wasn't a brown haired, brown eyed man in the form of her best friend. 

"John, I, umm," Kay continued to say, before the ringing of John's telephone interrupted her conversation. 

"Excuse me," John apologized, reaching into his jacket pocket. "I don't know who would call me at this hour. It's probably important."

Kay nodded reluctantly. Sighing, she figured this interruption was for the best. It wasn't going to be easy to tell John that she figured their friendship could become more. 

{a/n: i know i haven't updated in a WHILE but my college semester just ended and i'm free!!! ya. so that means more updates, to more stories. maybe i'll even put up some new ones that have been sitting there in my computer waiting to be uploaded onto fanfiction.net and fictionpress.net. review!}


	10. Thoughts And A Completed Kiss

Chapter 10:

Kay sighed deeply to herself as she recalled the events of last night. She had never gotten the chance to continue that conversation with John at Miguel and Charity's wedding reception party. Turns out, the call John had received _had_ been important. So important that John had to leave the party altogether, to take care of other responsibilities, as he had put it. 

Sulking, Kay flopped down on her bed. Her first semester had just ended a few days before Miguel and Charity's wedding. The newlyweds were off to their honeymoon in Hawaii. 

Kay had chosen to take two summer classes but they weren't to start for another few days. Whitney, Theresa and Simone had gone to Castleton for a few weeks with Chad, Noah and Fox. Kay was pretty much alone with only Jessica, Paloma, who she wasn't that close to, Reese, Timmy and John around. It wasn't the group she figured she'd spend her summer with, but she would make do she supposed. 

Bored and lonely, Kay decided to pay John a visit. She figured he must be alone in his dorm room just like her. So why not grace themselves with each other's company?

Taking her purse with her, Kay was just about to walk out the door before she remembered a conversation she had shared with John not too long ago. It caused her to go over to her desk, and retrieve an object from the clutter on the table before satisfiedly walking over to his dorm. 

John, half-asleep from all the boredom, heard a knock coming from outside his door. 

"John, are you there?" he could hear a female's voice ask from outside. It sounded a lot like Kay. 

"Yeah, I am," he replied, just as he turned the knob to open the door. "Hi, Kay. Come on in." He smiled. 

"Thanks," Kay replied as she slowly and unsurely walked in inside. She remembered the last time they had been in a dorm room alone together. How the mood seemed to be elevated, causing them both to lean in for a kiss before Whitney had interrupted them. 

John stretched his arms and yawned as Kay sat down on Chad's desk. 

"Were you sleeping?" Kay asked. "If you were, I can come back at a later time...." She was quick to point out, using the first chance she got to possibly leave. She was nervous. 

"No, no, I'm ok. What's up?" He noticed the glossy notebook she was holding in her hand. "What's that you got there?"

"It's my poems notebook. The one I told you about once. The one -"

"I remember Kay," John interrupted, noticing her heightened nervousness. 

"I think I'm finally ready to show someone else my writing," Kay declared. 

"That's great," John responded. "Can I ask what brought this feeling though?"

"Well," Kay hesitated, as she shifted her weight around in her seat. "Yesterday's wedding brought me an added sense of maturity. A kind of closure on my life previous to it. I feel like -" Kay stopped talking. Her words were enough, her actions were ready to speak in its place. Standing up, she thrust the notebook out in John's direction.

John's eyes widened. She wants me to read it? He thought to himself. Before his mind could stop reeling from the situation, he felt his hand take the notebook away from her. He sat down on his bed, opening to the first page. He began to read Kay's first poem. It was titled "The Game."

__

We are born

Given life

To feel the pleasures

And tortures of the world

We grow up

To become

Wiser images of our younger selves

We get older

To feel the world

And the life

Being sucked away

From us

Slowly but significantly

And then it's over

You have completed the final stage

You have finished the game

The game of Life

What comes next?

Do you move onto another game?

Or do you play the same game

But as a different person?

Or do you go up to heaven

And watch the world?

Maybe you watch your world

The way it was when you were still alive

I guess we just have to see what happens

After the game is over. 

Amused, he moved on to another poem. This one seemed to be more about love than life since it was ever so creatively titled "Love Poem":

__

The rain coming down from the sky

enveloping the world with her wet kisses

The stars twinkling in the light

each one with the hope and promise of a better morrow

Flowers in fields, further than visible

the wind carrying off the scent to deeper places

The moon casting her eerie glow

causing horror stories around the campfire

Journeys and trails that seem never-ending

with feet that are never tired

A love song that describes your feelings

touches the heart and doesn't leave the soul

A message in a bottle with the words of your heart's desire

written by the one you would call your lover

John loved the first poem, along with its endless new ideas. It had made him think of things that had never before crossed his mind. But the second poem had brought an ache to his heart. They were the best things in life. They were love. They were words that had inspired Kay to write that beautiful poem, but what hurt was the fact that he knew he wasn't the one who had brought out those emotions in Kay. Miguel was the reason behind that poem. Trying to push those thoughts away, John silently reminded himself that even though Kay had written those based on how she felt for Miguel, it was he who she was showing it to for the first time.

He looked up to meet Kay's intense gaze.

"That was great, Kay," he began. "But..."

"But what?" she asked quickly. 

He stood up to face her. 

"But... why me?" John was curious to find out why Kay had chosen to show him her poems, when she had known her other friends _much_ longer than she had known him. 

Kay stared back at him thoughtfully. "Because," she said. "You would understand. You understand me, especially lately. I..." She paused talking as she felt one of John's fingers on her lips. 

"John, I umm," she began to say, before he interrupted her again. 

"No, Kay," he protested. "You've shown me something about how you feel. It's my turn." With that he bent down to reach her height, and showed her his feelings. Picking up from where they had left off, he completed the first kiss they almost shared a while back in her dormitory. 

{a/n: hope u liked! those two poems are mine. you can find them in fictionpress.net under the pen name 'the moon and the wind.' review those too if you liked them. thanks people. this story is almost over. going to wrap things up between the next 1-2 chapters.}


	11. The Way Things Should Be

Chapter 11:

Kay and John separated from their kiss. 

She noticed him looking deep into her eyes, trying to read her every thought and emotion. 

"That was something," Kay grinned, exhaling as she turned to absorb what they had just done. 

"Oh yeah?" he asked her, raising his eyebrows to add to the dazzling smile he was sending her way. He couldn't tell if she really liked their kiss or not. Her facial features made it seem like she did, but her words weren't positively correlated with the former. 

"Yeah," she turned to stare at him, perceiving the look on his face. He seemed to want her to elaborate. "Something _good,"_ she gushed quickly. 

He let out a suspended breath of air. "If you really liked it, we can do it again," John suggested flirtatiously. 

Kay's lips curved into a widening smile and her eyes lit up in passion and delight, before their fingers intertwined yet again and she could feel his lips in ecstasy with hers. 

______________________________________________________________

"Miguel, I love the idea of being your wife," Charity whispered in the airplane as they made their way back to Harmony. 

Miguel smiled wholeheartedly at his bride, reaching over and pecking at her lips. 

"This past week has been incredible," Charity remarked. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Miguel replied. 

"Have you talked to anyone from Harmony?" she asked. "Do they know we're coming back today?"

"No and no," Miguel replied. 

"I wonder how Kay is doing," Charity said, half to herself and half to her husband. 

"Well on our wedding reception, I encouraged her to pursue John. And I think she did."

"Really?" Charity exclaimed, sitting up in her seat. His words had gotten her complete attention. "That would be great. Does he like her? I didn't know about this."

"He does. Theresa told me. Anyways, I hope things work out for her." 

"Me too," Charity replied. "She deserves love, and that's what she's wanted all along. It's just that you couldn't give her that." She paused. 

"But John can," they both said simultaneously.

______________________________________________________________

John and Kay continued to share kiss after kiss until her ringing cell phone interrupted them. 

"Excuse me," Kay muttered, hating the interruption. 

"Sure," John replied, taking his time to wipe his mouth free of Kay's lipstick residue. 

"Hello?" Kay asked into her portable phone. 

"Kay honey, it's me," her mother's voice rang out loudly. "Can you come over? The house feels so empty without Noah or Charity around."

"So why don't you call Jessica?" Kay bit off angrily. She didn't want to fulfill her mother's loneliness at not having her two favorite "children" around. 

"I did. She's coming. I want both of you there. Where are you, by the way?"

Kay fumed. Why was her mother being so nosy? Kay was an adult for Christ's sake! "I'm with a friend. Why?" Kay replied after a moment of silence to calm herself so she wouldn't lash out. 

"Jessica said she came over to pick you up from your dorm and you weren't there."

"Fine. I'm coming."

"Do you have a ride?" her mother asked. 

Kay sighed. Cupping the receiver with one hand so Grace wouldn't hear, she turned to look at John. "Can you drop me off at my house, John?"

He nodded. 

Grace smiled to herself. She was pretty sure that Kay didn't want her to know which "friend" she was with at the moment, hence the muffled voices coming from the background, but Grace was happy that her oldest daughter was attempting to move on past her feelings for Miguel and try to build a relationship with someone else. 

"I'll be there soon, Mom," Kay said, returning to the call. 

"Ok, honey," Grace replied. "And Kay?"

"Yeah?" she asked. 

"I love you." Three simple little words but they meant so much to Kay. It seemed like her connection to her mother was turning into a positive one, from the negative one it used to be. 

"I love you, too, mom," Kay replied without hesitation before she hung up. 

______________________________________________________________

"Come with me," Kay insisted, once John and her arrived in front of the Bennett home. She wanted him there. 

"Nahh, I can tell this is a family moment. You go ahead. I'll see you later."

"Come with me," she repeated, but with more force and pleading. Her eyes hypnotized his mind, body and soul and he shut off the engine and proceeded to enter the house with her. 

"Hi!" Kay's mother greeted them both, surprised to see Kay had brought a guest. 

"Mom you remember John, right? From Miguel and Charity's wedding?"

"Yes," Grace nodded, shaking the young man's hand. "Speaking of the wedding, guess who arrived here five minutes before you did?"

"Miguel and Charity?" Kay guessed playfully. It didn't seem to hurt as much. John's kisses and touches seemed to lessen her resolve to get Miguel, or to even think about him. 

"Yeah," Grace answered. 

"Let's go say hi," Kay said, taking John's hand and walking inside to the living room. 

"Hi, you guys," Kay replied, giving over and hugging the newlyweds. 

"Hi, Kay," Charity smiled at her cousin. 

"Is there something you're not telling us, Kat?" Miguel questioned, his eyes reverting from hers, to John's. 

"Yes," She smiled, taking John's hand in hers. "But I think you can figure it out on your own." 

Miguel's eyes twinkled happily for his best friend. She had taken his love advice from a week ago, and more importantly, she had used it. 

"I'm happy for the two of you," Miguel said, hugging Kay again and punching John playfully on the shoulder. 

"But you better watch out, man," Miguel chided, his voice a whisper. "Kat here is as spunky as they come. You have to keep her on a leash."

John and Charity laughed, while Kay uttered revenge for Miguel's statement and proceeded to get it by chasing after him around the house. The way they used to do as kids. 

Miguel smiled as Kay kept on tracking him down. Things were finally the way they were supposed to be. He and Kay were friends again to the end, he had found true love, and now he was happy to point out that she too had finally done the same. 

The End

{I hope you liked this fic overall. I did. It was up there with one of my favorite fics by myself, next to Kay's Story and Hindsight. Anyways, Review and tell me what you thought of the whole fic. 

You probably won't be seeing me much on the site anymore. I am currently working on a long fic, which I want to complete and perfect before I post it up. Right now I am working on the 8th chapter of it; based on my outline it will be 42-44 chapters long. Look out for it sometime in the future. Thank you to all reviewers. Good luck on your stories.}


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